Sunday, 3 January 2016

Reflections to Ambitions

I’m sitting here on New Year’s Eve in my Tinker Bell pyjamas contemplating life. A sprinkling of fairy dust allowing me to fly away to a Neverland feels like the perfect solution to life’s problems. However, it doesn’t solve them and even Neverland has its troubles. The thing about life is that we never exactly know what it’s going to throw at us, but we do know that it flings the good, the bad and the ugly. Our task is to embrace, battle and defeat. This year has proved to be one of my hardest yet.

The job didn’t work out, I didn’t run a PB for the second year running, my last remaining Grandparent passed away and somehow my relationship failed. These types of events leave you asking questions and have left me feeling a little lost.

Nevertheless, my year hasn’t all been doom and gloom. I have lived on my own for a year now. In that time I have only broken 1 plate, 1 bowl and 1 condiment shaker. Also, I’ve only dropped 2 dinners on my cream coloured carpet, the same amount Calvin decided to spew up too. My hoover has a few plasters on its cable that it chose to chew up one day and I seem to have misplaced a coaster causing my table to look slightly strange, but other than that independent living is going well.

Whilst paid employment let me down, voluntary work has kept me busy. Action for the Blind, Vista and Brownies have all enabled me to remain sane. I really enjoy giving something back to the world.

It feels wrong not to write a little note about Calvin, so I will. Apologies to Calvin fans as I didn’t write a blog post to mark our 6 year anniversary. We haven’t really had any adventures lately. Calvin is Calvin, my little bundle of sunshine, always ready to thrust a toy in my face. It’s impossible not to smile every morning when you’re greeted with such genuine excitement and affection.

As I write we are already 3 days in. Happy Olympic and Paralympic Year! Honestly, where have the last 4 years gone?! London 2012 is still so vivid in my memory. Rio 2016 is going to be incredible, I can’t wait to watch it all on TV.

I am not going to kid myself or others. Realistically I have no chance of being able to compete in Rio. In 2015 I ranked 25th in the World, which purely and simply is not good enough. My main goal this year is to run a PB. It needs to happen. I dedicate my life to athletics, surely I deserve that at least. If my indoor season goes well, then I think I will start to cross my fingers that I may be selected for the Europeans in July. Ideally, I would like to rank in the top 3 in Europe by the end of 2016. In 2015 I finished 5th in the rankings. I have my first indoor race on 9 January.

I am not sure what else I want out of this year. Sadly, my ambitious nature seems to be wilting. This is out of order. I need to get a grip, have more faith in my abilities and start aspiring to be someone again. I think everyone is capable of some sort of greatness. No, scrap that, I KNOW we are all capable of being great!

Let’s all have a great year...

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