Wednesday, 26 July 2017

Stress Fracture

Today marks 6 weeks since I injured my knee whilst warming up for a race. An MRI scan showed that I have a stress fracture called osteochondritis dissecans. Mentally and physically the last 6 weeks have been really tough. To go from running faster than I have ever done before to finding it near impossible to walk was a severe shock to the system. 6 weeks on, I am still unable to walk limp free. However, I am on the road to recovery, it is just going to be a very long road. I have begun to do rehab consisting of deep pool non-impact exercises alongside some static non weight bearing exercises on land. I have an appointment with the consultant in 2 weeks time where hopefully my knee has healed enough to start physio treatment.

I have had moments where I have thought I’m never going to be able to walk properly again, never mind run. It is always easy to think the worst. One of the hardest elements has been to watch my muscle mass rapidly slip away. Years of intense training dissolving in front of my eyes. I have literally been losing weight with the lack of exercise.

It goes without saying that my athletics season has been cut short. I only managed a month’s worth of racing before the injury occurred. Nevertheless, I was able to run a PB over 100m, clocking 13.52 seconds in Bedford in May. What is incredibly frustrating is that I ran that time without full speed training. I could have gone much faster this year.

I guess there is no point dwelling on the could have, should have, would have beens. This is the situation that I am facing now and I need to focus on getting back to full health and fitness.

The best moment is not going to be when I start sprinting again, but when the house isolation can end. I am so desperate to put on Calvin’s harness and go for a nice long walk. It is funny I have no problem being blind every day, yet take my mobility away and it feels like the end of the world!

patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet (Jean-Jacques Rousseau)

Monday, 24 July 2017


I think there has been some sort of mistake…apparently I am now 29 years old and it feels like my 30th birthday is creeping up on me like the Jaws theme tune! I am dangerously close to entering the fourth decade of my life. What happened to my twenties? What was the plan? I don’t think there ever was one. I have just floated through taking each year as it came. Have I done everything I wanted to in my twenties? I’m not sure. Am I ready to join the thirty club? Certainly not!

I feel that I am constantly talking to people about things I want to do in life, but for one reason or another it doesn’t evolve into anything more than idle chatter. I kind of wish I wasn’t so sensible, I can always find a rational reason for not doing something. I long to live life to the full yet crave routine and stability. Sometimes I am my only barrier to fulfilling my dreams and aspirations.

As I enter the final few hundred days of my twenties I don’t feel like that there is anything more I need to accomplish in this decade of my life. Everything seems quite settled and satisfying at the moment. If I can maintain that until my next birthday, I should be happy. However, I am already compiling a bucket list for my thirties!

Wednesday, 28 June 2017

The Undateables

It is well-known that I featured in a documentary called Blind Young Things that aired on Channel 4 about 10 years ago. When I watch the documentary back, something I do on an annual basis, I am always surprised that it is me. I have changed so much as a person, I like to think for the better. Yes I wince at the evidence of my former self, but I’m so glad I participated in the show and can see how I have grown, matured and evolved as an individual.

Channel 4 need to be commended on the vast number of disability related shows that they air on their various channels. From sport to comedy to reality TV, they are all working to enhance the general public’s awareness of disability, which is great.

I have had my fifteen minutes of fame on Channel 4, now it could be your turn to do the same. The ever lovable show The Undateables are looking for single people with a disability for their next series. See below for full details.

Are you looking for love?
Are you interested in taking part in a Channel 4 TV Series?

A Channel 4 TV Series about love and disability.
‘betty’ is making a seventh series of the romantic and insightful The Undateables.
We will be following disabled people and those with a variety of conditions through the highs and lows of finding love.
If you are single and looking for love please get in touch on
0207 290 0223 or email

Thursday, 22 June 2017

Blind in Britain

If you look at Face Book and Twitter, you would be tricked into thinking that Britain is a terrible place to live if you have a visual impairment. Whilst people with disabilities in this country face barriers on a daily basis, quite often in relation to accessibility, I feel that it is important to highlight how great it actually is to be blind in Britain. I recognise that it is only so good thanks to people constantly campaigning for change, but after being out and about last weekend it really hit home how lucky I am to live in such a disability friendly country.

To give you a bit of background, on Saturday I needed to travel through London to get to my final destination and I needed to repeat the process in reverse on Sunday. Travelling through London solo is something that I have only done once before and that was with Calvin my Guide Dog who gives me more confidence when I’m out travelling by myself. This time it was just me, my cane and the added anxiety of the recent terror attacks. Firstly, before I have even started my journey, I am able to get 1/3 off of my ticket fair with my disabled railcard. There is assistance at my local train station that helps me board the train, find a seat and notifies St Pancras that I am on my way. I am met immediately at the other end by assistance who guide me to the underground and their staff. Straight away someone is available to assist me on to the tube and alerts Paddington to my arrival at the other end. However, once I have boarded the tube and travel a couple of stops an announcement informs us that the train will terminate earlier than planned and advises everybody to get off at the next stop. Quickly I am infused by a wave of panic as I know there is no assistance waiting for me to help me continue my journey. The tears start flowing and the general public rush to my aid, several people willing to help me. Before they can, a member of the underground staff lets me know he has called for another staff member to help me. I make it to Paddington and although I have missed my train connection, I am offered assistance instantly to get the next train that departs in 3 minutes time. They phone ahead to Reading to ensure that I am still met despite travelling on a later service and can get another connection to reach my final destination. When I reflect, it was completely unnecessary for me to have worried in the slightest and it turned out to be the perfect warm-up for the following day.

On Sunday, my return journey started off badly with a 20 minutes train delay. I made it back to St Pancras with the same seamless assistance as the previous day, only to discover that all trains back home had been cancelled. If this was Saturday I would have been hysterical, but this time I was able to keep my head. The StPancras staff member I was with was so helpful in ensuring I found an alternative route home even though his shift was just about to finish. I had to get back on the underground and made my way to Euston. Unfortunately I had narrowly missed my alternative train and had to wait nearly an hour for the next service. In this time someone was able to assist me to use the toilet and I watched in awe as the assistance hub worked tirelessly to make sure people caught their trains. They were clearly under staffed, but even when people arrived with very little time before their train they went above and beyond to enable them to catch it. A journey that was meant to take me about 3 hours instead took me over 6 and a half hours. It was mentally and physically exhausting as well as challenging. Nevertheless, I made it home thanks to dozens of people helping me on the way, both paid members of staff and the general public.

Unsurprisingly, the 6 and a half hour journey gave me lots of thinking time. The list below demonstrates some of the reasons why it is so good to be blind in Britain:

1. Train assistance
2. Disabled person’s railcard (1/3 discount on train fair)
3. National bus pass
4. Tactile markings on the pavement indicating a safe place to cross
5. Tactile spinning cone underneath controlled crossing boxes indicating when it is safe to cross
6. Braille in lifts
7. Braille on medication
8. Talking cash points (ATMs)
9. Audio description on TV, in the cinema and at the theatre
10. Guide Dogs and their right to access all public spaces
11. Disability benefits (DLA, PIP, ESA, Blind person’s tax allowance, disability working tax credit)
12. Access to Work Scheme
13. Discounts for leisure activities usually buy 1 get 1 free (cinema, concerts, theatre, theme parks and other attractions)
14. Specialist visually impaired hotels (Windermere, Teignmouth)
15. Specialist holiday companies (Traveleyes, Seeable)
16. Multiple charities that offer services (RNIB, VICTA, Look, Blind in Business etc)
17. RNIB library (free books in Braille, large print and audio)
18. Accessible menus in many restaurants (large print/Braille)
19. Access to top eye hospitals (Moorfields, Manchester Eye Hospital etc)
20. Accessible banking (talking pin century reader, bank statements in an accessible format)
21. Accessible voting
22. The general public (people aren’t scared to help)

Some people will grumble that the above doesn’t always work or go to plan and they are right, we don’t live in a perfect society. My argument is that we are incredibly privileged to have the option of such a vast variety of services and facilities that allows the visually impaired community to lead independent and fulfilling lives.

Wednesday, 17 May 2017

Norrie Disease

As previously mentioned on my blog, I have a rare genetic condition called Norrie Disease which primarily affects the eyes. It is only meant to affect males, but somehow I defied the odds and was the first female in the world to be diagnosed with the condition. My older brother and 2 uncles also have/had Norrie Disease. Ever since I have had access to the internet I recall Googling, desperate to find out more information about this condition that has not only had a massive impact upon my life, but my family’s too. It is surprising to think in this day and age that even now it is difficult to find accurate and detailed information about Norrie Disease. At the moment I am waiting for genetic testing in order to try and fully understand how I have managed to present with the condition and I am also keen to learn how my genetic makeup will affect my children if I am lucky enough to have them one day. I am certain that I am a carrier of Norrie Disease, so it is something that could potentially impact on my family in generations to come. Norrie Disease has stolen my vision and it is beginning to steal my hearing. Whilst I am an individual who is intent on not allowing their disability stopping them from leading a fulfilling life, I can’t escape from the fact that I have Norrie Disease and always will.

Last Saturday, something exciting happened. It was the launch of The Norrie Disease Foundation. It is the first UK based charity setup to support those affected by Norrie Disease. Their aim is to connect Norrie Disease families as well as promote vital new research into the condition. Unfortunately, I was unable to attend the launch. However, I am very grateful to those who have put in the hard work to make this much needed charity a reality. I am looking forward to seeing what The Norrie Disease Foundation can achieve and getting involved with the Norrie community.

To visit The Norrie Disease Foundation website, just click here.

Tuesday, 2 May 2017

Race Time Again

It is the eve of my outdoor season once again. When I sit back and think about how long I have been involved in athletics, I am surprised that I haven’t given up on it yet. There are a lot of things that have happened in the sport that make me want to throw in the towel. The one element that stops me is the fact that I know I have not reached my full potential. I desperately want to represent Great Britain at a championships. I can’t believe it is nearly three years since I got the opportunity to compete for England at the Commonwealths. Paralympic sport moves so fast it is difficult to know whether I will reach the necessary standard to fulfil my goal. However, I intend on training week in week out for the foreseeable future. Training dominates my life. At times it is tough to try and justify the commitment when I’m not exactly winning medals or breaking records. I could probably be successful if I took up another sport, but I love to run, I love to sprint, I love athletics in general.

I had a positive indoor season, reducing my 60m PB from 8.77 to 8.63. Since last winter I have lost about ten pounds in body weight, but I am managing to lift heavier than I have ever done in the gym before. I have four months of racing ahead of me with the only target being to run as fast as I can. I fully expect to break my 100m PB of 13.61. Perhaps not instantly, but it will happen in the coming months.

There is a new rule for T11 athletes, which now requires us to wear eye patches as well as blacked out shades in races to reduce cheating. This is not a problem for me other than sourcing some eye patches since I can’t see anything with my shades on anyway. Even without shades I can’t see anything when I run. Yes I have light perception in my left eye, but when moving at speed my eye fails to detect anything and blacks out. In some ways I am pleased that the IPC recognises that there is a problem with my classification. It now has athletes who have useful vision and who are able to walk, run and train unaided. Originally I thought the most vision you were allowed to have in the T11 classification was light perception. I am not sure what the limits are now. All I know is if that you are able to train unaided then you have an advantage over me even if you are blindfolded in a race. This is because you are able to:

Train without a guide thus giving you more feeling and chance to develop control over your body
Learn new drills/exercises visually making them easier for you to pick up and enhance your running ability
Generally be able to do drills/exercises that simply aren’t safe or feasible for a totally blind athlete to do, again increasing your running ability

Racing with a blindfold is not scary once you master the fear and trust your guide runner. Put Usain Bolt in a blindfold and I am certain he would still be able to run under ten seconds, as he has visually learnt the art of running and doesn’t need to see in order to implement his technique. The only trouble would be finding a guide runner fast enough for him! Whilst I feel disadvantaged in my classification at the moment, I accept that nobody is cheating under the current rules. If a classifier has deemed somebody to be a T11 then they are a T11 and there is nothing I can do about it. It is just unlucky for me that I am at the more severe end of my classification. I just feel it is important to write down my views. The classification system is there to make para-sport as fair as possible and it unfortunately is never going to satisfy everybody as no two people have exactly the same disability.

All of that aside, I am hoping to have a good season. I am looking forward to seeing how fast I can go…

Sunday, 9 April 2017

Fine At Nine

Last month Calvin turned nine years old. In theory this means that he has entered the final year of his working life as my Guide Dog since it is well-known that Guide Dogs don’t tend to work beyond the age of ten. However, I just don’t think he is ready to retire. I have spent the last year analysing his work and general well-being. He hasn’t changed a tiny bit. He still walks at a nice speed, has a spring in his step as he trots along and is always excited to have his harness put on and come out with me. Personally, as it stands at present, it really wouldn’t be in Calvin’s best interest to retire. Being a Guide Dog is all that Calvin has known and for the last seven and a half years he has been my partner in crime. Being separated and introducing a new dog into our world when Calvin is still keen to work makes no sense to me. I understand that it is important for Guide Dogs to have the opportunity to be regular dogs for a period in their lives, but Calvin already experiences ‘normal’ dog life anyway, which may have contributed to him still enjoying his work. Not only does he get free-runs, he is often walked on his lead too.

It could be argued that I am being selfish for wanting Calvin to work beyond his years. I admit that I am dreading the day Calvin says no more. Whilst Calvin has caused me a million and one stressful moments, he has given me a level of independence, confidence and happiness that I never had as a cane user. We know so many routes. Calvin has learnt everything with me. Prior to him, I could walk around the block at a push. Now I can effortlessly walk back to my parents two and a half miles away. It is going to take a lot of hard work teaching a new dog everything Calvin and I know.

I keep asking myself do I really want another dog? Could I bond with another dog? Could I love another dog? It reminds me of starting a new relationship. Calvin is going to my parents when he retires because I can’t imagine not having him in my life. However, can you really properly move on to a new relationship when you still have your ex in your life? Is it fair on you or your future partner? Ordinarily I would say no. Calvin is like my first love. He will always be special to me because he is my first everything. Nevertheless, I know deep down that we can’t be a partnership forever and in the long-term it is best for the both of us to move on. It will break my heart when Calvin retires. Tears will be shed. Then I will brush myself off and start a new relationship. It won’t be the same as the one I have had with Calvin, but hopefully it will be as pleasant and as long lasting.

In the meantime I intend on enjoying every single moment with my bestest boy in the whole wide world!