Sunday 31 December 2017

Another Year

Wow, it is New Year’s Eve once again. This year’s Disney pyjamas, The Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland. Famous for his toothy grin the Cheshire Cat has the best approach to life. Smile. Even when times are tough make sure you find something to smile about. It is so easy to be swallowed up by grief and sadness, but I promise if you dig deep there will be something in your life worth a smirk.

2017
I am one of those people who dislikes odd numbers. There is something uncomfortable about them. So, it isn’t really surprising that 2017 threw some horridness at me. Whilst warming up for a race in June, I fractured my knee. Six months on and I still can’t run up the stairs pain free never mind sprint or even jog. For three months I couldn’t even walk without limping. Sport dictated my life. Monday track, Tuesday gym, Wednesday swim, Thursday track, Friday rest, Saturday gym, Sunday rest. In a split second my routine was lost, I felt lost and I have lost a lot of weight too. Goodbye muscles, farewell healthy heartrate. It may be difficult for people to comprehend, but without sport life for me is highly depressing. It gives me structure and constant targets to smash. The adrenaline rush is euphoric. I long to get that back.

Calvin, my beloved Guide Dog and bestest friend. I don’t yet have children, although the unconditional love I feel for him must equal that of parent and child. Unknowingly to him, he has caused me to shed a thousand tears this month alone. Guide Dogs visited us just before Christmas and the dreaded R word was brought up even before they saw him work due to him turning ten in March. Whilst it was agreed that I won’t go back on the list immediately, I will be back on it before his birthday. In addition they noticed a lump on his left paw. Calvin is riddled with fatty lumps, but this one is different. He had an x-ray on Thursday that revealed he has arthritis in his left wrist. The lump is not bone related, it is soft tissue related. It isn’t big enough to do a biopsy to check if it is anything more sinister. He has some anti-inflammatory medicine to see if that makes a difference. Calvin was so poorly after the anaesthetic, it was horrible to watch him suffer. I have never ever ever in the eight years of knowing him seen him so ill. All I want for him is to be healthy and happy though as he ages this is inevitably impossible. I am seriously not sure I can mentally handle having another Guide Dog.

Right, now on to the cheerful stuff. This year has been painful, but it has also been magical. I met a boy (gush), holidayed in Cape Verde and Dubai, saw so many fantastic shows at the theatre, witnessed Harry Kane score live at Wembley enabling England to qualify for the World Cup, went to the Olympic Park to watch the athletics World Championships, ate strawberries and cream at Wimbledon, sprinted my way to 60m and 100m PBs, danced the night away at my friend’s wedding, sang my heart out at Ed Sheeran and Steps concerts and later I’m going to try and not break any bones ice-skating. That is just the stuff I can remember! So yeah, I have had my dark and lonely days, but I have also had some pretty amazing ones too.

2018
Yay an even number. No doubt I will have some hard times, but equally I already have so many things to look forward to. Paris in January, Harry Potter A History of Magic Exhibition in February, Matilda the Musical in March, An Officer and a Gentleman musical in April, Amsterdam in May, my 30th birthday in July and who knows what else. Hopefully I can get back to my athletic self and if Calvin is going to retire, here’s hoping it will be on happy and healthy grounds.

I adore writing this blog and only wish I updated it more often. There are so many topics I’m itching to write about, but find myself too busy enjoying life to get a chance. 2018 will be my tenth year of blogging. To those who have read my ramblings from the start thanks so much for sticking with me. To those who have stumbled upon my blog more recently thanks for taking the time to share in my life.

To all my readers, may 2018 bring you a year of smiles.

Sunday 3 December 2017

A Day To Celebrate?

There is a day, week and month for everything these days. From National Cup Cake Day to Autism Awareness Week and Movember. All have the same aim of celebrating and/or promoting a particular cause. Today is International Day of Persons with Disabilities. However, I’m not really feeling in the mood to celebrate my blindness. Whilst I accept my disability, I wouldn’t say I’m proud to be blind. It isn’t an attribute I have chosen, it is one that was written in my DNA. In the same way I’m not one of those people who is proud to be female or Asian. It is just who I am. Nevertheless, I am proud of some of the things I have achieved despite my disability. Gaining a First Class degree in English Language and Literature and representing England at the Commonwealth Games taking the top spots.

I harp on about it a lot, but us disabled Brits are so lucky to live in such a disability friendly country. On this day of raising awareness of people with disabilities, I would like to remind people that not all disabled people are as privileged. Even in this day and age, there are millions of disabled people who are hidden away by their families. Then there are the ones who literally can’t leave their homes because their country is inaccessible.

Whilst today is my day, I would like to take the opportunity to thank my Guide Dog Calvin for his 8 years of service to me, the government for supporting me financially, my employer for giving me a job and my friends and family who all allow me to live an independent and fulfilling life. Thanks to them living with a disability really isn’t so bad.