Broken Body

This blog post will reveal why I haven’t been able to literally sit down to write. 2021 has proven an immensely difficult year for my body.

It all kicked off in January. At the start of the year I felt run down. I had this weird lactic sensation in my legs. They felt so heavy all day without even exercising. Generally I felt tired and had bouts of nausea. I just didn’t feel right. After the symptoms didn’t ease after a week or so I did a PCR test suspecting covid as back then people were reporting all sorts of odd symptoms. The test came back negative and so I got advice from my doctor. They ran a blood test and everything except having high levels of B12 came back normal. The doctor told me I probably just had a virus and to wait it out. It wasn’t until mid-February that I began to feel better. It was the strangest illness that I thought would never end and I’m so thankful it did.

In March I had my first covid vaccine. It knocked me for six and I then spent another couple of weeks feeling poorly. People told me it must be my immune system working making amazing anti-bodies.

In April my heart shattered into a thousand pieces as Calvin my best friend and retired Guide Dog passed away at the age of 13. I don’t think I will ever recover from the grief. Even now 8 months on I will spontaneously burst into tears at the mention or thought of him.

In May I had my second vaccine. I wasn’t as poorly this time so apparently my immune system had worked its magic. However, I still felt rubbish for a few days. At least it wasn’t as bad as having covid itself.

In July just a week before I was due to race for the first time since 2017 I sustained a tight hamstring after a great training session. I didn’t think much of it at the time. The following day I couldn’t stretch my leg out straight it was that tight and painful. My guide runner did a great job of stretching it out before my gym session but I was left with a tightness in my glute. An actual pain in the bum!

Before I could treat my glute I was struck down with covid thanks to catching it in London when I attended the final of Euro 2020 at Wembley. After being surrounded by thousands of people for hours on end I knew my chances of catching the virus were high. I did hope that the vaccine would protect me. perhaps it did to an extent as I don’t appear to have long covid. Nevertheless, I was really poorly for a good couple of weeks. I lost my sense of taste and smell, had a horrible cough, sneezed constantly, had a fever for a couple of days and generally felt horrific. My partner who attended the Euros with me and has not been vaccinated showed no symptoms. Whilst somewhat envious of this, I was pleased to have someone to look after me.

Once recovered from covid I found although 3 weeks on I still had a pain in my glute. I saw a physio who was recommended by a friend and was informed I had a tight piriformis which is a muscle found in the glute. I was advised to rehab, have lots of massages and stretch.

6 weeks later I was in no better condition pain wise yet now possessed reasonably strong glutes and core. I went to the physio at my GP who recommended I saw a sports doctor. He thought an injection would solve the issue. It was time to claim on my Bupa once more. Something I was reluctant to do after my premium shot up after my knee surgery in 2019. I felt I had no other option.

The sports doctor seemed baffled and sent me for an MRI scan for my back and pelvis. I was hopeful the MRI would give me some answers. The answer was so unexpected. The scan showed that there was nothing wrong with me other than some mild arthritis. I was in agony whenever I sat down for prolonged periods but supposedly nothing was causing the pain. No trapped nerves, no inflammation, no sign of previous trauma.

The sports doctor referred me to a physio that he recommended. He said he doesn’t deny that I’m experiencing pain and felt neural flossing would be a benefit to me. to date I have seen the physio 3 times where a thorough examination was performed and flossing exercises given. Nothing has changed. The pain remains. In the New Year I will see the physio’s colleague for a second opinion as he is lost with what to do next.

If living with daily pain wasn’t bad enough at the beginning of December I picked up a nasty cold that kept me at home for a week and a couple of weeks ago I had eye surgery.

When I attended Moorfields for a routine appointment in October I never expected anything to be newly wrong with my eye. I was suffering with the usual pain and have simply accepted that. It was a shock when they told me the rubber band I had fitted in my eye at the age of two to help my eye grow had decided to partially expose itself.

They had no choice but to operate as they calmly told mee if it got infected it could be fatal. They felt it would be a quick and easy procedure that could be done with local anaesthetic. I told them I had trouble with local once before as my eye wouldn’t numb. The head of the clinic insisted it would be fine. It was far from fine.

I will try and spare everyone the traumatic details. Long story short my eye wouldn’t numb, so they numbed half of my face and hoped for the best. Only this didn’t seem to do the job either. I really wanted them to do the surgery after the hell I was going through. They managed to cut some of the exposed band. I will have to go back for more surgery so they can finish the procedure under general. I craved so much sugar afterwards. I was so shaken up.

Thankfully my eye seems to be healing well. I didn’t verbalise to anyone before the operation but I was terrified of losing my light perception. The days and hours leading up to the surgery I kept making sure I looked at every light I could to savour the moment in case it would be the last time. I have probably had close to 30 eye surgeries, I stopped counting after 20. I really don’t know how many more my eye can take before totally giving up on me.

To round the year off I have managed to sprain my ankle. Yesterday on an uneven bit of pavement when out walking Riley. You couldn’t make this stuff up!

Anyway, as you can see I’ve really not had a very healthy year in spite of being relatively fit and eating healthily. Whilst I have had a difficult time of it I am aware there are others who have it much worse and I have massive respect for everyone who has to be resilient in life.

Riley although only three has also had a few health problems this year. He had to have a tooth out as he broke one at some point chewing on something he shouldn’t no doubt. He then needed steroids on his leg as it got infected where they shaved him for the cannula. He then had some random swelling on one of his back legs that required anti-inflammatories. Finally he has finished the year with his first fatty lump. I’m really gutted about this as I’ve been extra careful this time to ensure he stays at a good body weight. I’m sure Calvin was about five when he got his first lump. I know Labradors are prone to them.

I’m hoping to be much healthier next year. Although if my body has other ideas I will try to remain in good spirits! I think I’m learning you can’t plan for life, you just have to go with the flow and hope for the best.