There is an in joke with all of my friends that I’m always cold, but to be perfectly honest nine times out of ten I am! In the summer when it’s warm enough to be in a t-shirt by most people’s standards, I can normally be found with a jacket on. This is why each year I have to get away for some serious sunshine.
It was all quite promising to begin with in Corfu, nice large holiday complex, two pools and on the beach, but after a couple of days the skies turned grey. We arrived on Monday 10 September and by Thursday evening we all got drenched legging it back in flip flops from reception to our room, which was about a good ten minute walk.
So on Friday the rain continued along with thunder and lightning, we decided to take the hotel shuttle into Corfu town, as did the rest of the hotel. You couldn’t book a place on the fifty seater coach and a couple of hundred people were waiting for it. You could see the Brits forming an orderly queue, but I assured my parents that the French and Germans aren’t really into being polite with these sorts of things, so we joined in the barging to get on. When we arrived in Corfu town it was heart sinking to find that there wasn’t just one big shopping mall where we could stay dry and shop at leisure. Therefore, we spent the day getting drenched yet again and didn’t really buy anything either. We arrived back at the hotel in the early evening where there had been a power cut, fallen trees and things set on fire. Very alarming!
Saturday morning was cold and dull, but no rain, so I trained on the beach and my parents played tennis. They always play tennis on holiday. By the afternoon it was raining again and I was declaring it one of the worst holidays ever!
Sunday brought some hazy sunshine, which meant some relaxing by the pool, but it wasn’t long until it gave way to the rain again. The locals were all delighted, as there is a water shortage on the island and they hadn’t seen rain for four months. However, I found it challenging to share in their joy!
Thankfully, the final day was hot once more and judging by the weather over here at the moment, I’m guessing that was the last I’ll be seeing of the sunshine this year. Overall it was a mixed holiday, I’m not sure there is much to do in Corfu, but as I said the hotel was nice.
Rain, rain, go away, come again another day!
Tuesday, 25 September 2012
Tuesday, 18 September 2012
The London 2012 Paralympics
Wow, wow, wow!!! Wasn’t it just brilliant?! I knew I was always going to enjoy watching it, but for the whole of the country to get behind the games was just amazing and exceeded expectation. I had tickets for three mornings of athletics, one set were given to me by UK Athletics and the other two sets I bought previously, as I wanted to watch what would have perhaps been my events. When I wasn’t in the jam packed stadium, I watched the athletics on Channel 4’s Extra platforms either at home or my coach had it on his laptop running whilst I trained. It was very surreal watching so many athletes I’ve raced and know, it honestly filled me with pride.
Team GB were exceptional and the level of competition absolutely phenomenal. It’s pretty clear that China rule disability sport, but that is understandable with a disabled population of sixty million! I came to quite enjoy listening to the Chinese national anthem, it’s catchy! I am really pleased that the next Olympics and Paralympics will be in Brazil though, not only because it’s hot, but because they already have an extremely strong Paralympic Team, so you just know that they will put on a great show too.
Going back to the standard of competition, in the T11 100m, not only was the world record broken and now stands at 12.01secs (set by the same girl I raced in May at the Paralympic Test event), in the heats five girls went sub 13secs right before my eyes. I have only just managed to start running sub 15secs consistently with a hell of a lot of hard work. It made me think for a split second that I can’t compete with them, but then why can’t I?! I don’t really know what makes them so much better than me, but I intend to work it out.
Last year I had a go at long jump, but gave it up after finding I was unable to run in a straight line consistently. To my surprise, when in the stadium watching the men’s F11 long jump and women’s F11/12 long jump, I discovered neither can any of the other totally blind athletes. So maybe I’ll pick it up again. My best was 3.21m off of seven strides, the others were doing double the amount of strides and jumping around 4m, which I don’t think is out of the realms of possibility for me at all.
I have to admit it was a bit gutting at times not competing, yet at the same time it has fuelled my hunger for success. I so desperately want to do what they were doing.
Channel 4 did a good job at hosting the games and I seriously hope that there will be coverage of the world champs next year, as well as extensive coverage of the next Paralympic Games in Rio 2016.
Sport doesn’t care who you are, anyone can take part!
Team GB were exceptional and the level of competition absolutely phenomenal. It’s pretty clear that China rule disability sport, but that is understandable with a disabled population of sixty million! I came to quite enjoy listening to the Chinese national anthem, it’s catchy! I am really pleased that the next Olympics and Paralympics will be in Brazil though, not only because it’s hot, but because they already have an extremely strong Paralympic Team, so you just know that they will put on a great show too.
Going back to the standard of competition, in the T11 100m, not only was the world record broken and now stands at 12.01secs (set by the same girl I raced in May at the Paralympic Test event), in the heats five girls went sub 13secs right before my eyes. I have only just managed to start running sub 15secs consistently with a hell of a lot of hard work. It made me think for a split second that I can’t compete with them, but then why can’t I?! I don’t really know what makes them so much better than me, but I intend to work it out.
Last year I had a go at long jump, but gave it up after finding I was unable to run in a straight line consistently. To my surprise, when in the stadium watching the men’s F11 long jump and women’s F11/12 long jump, I discovered neither can any of the other totally blind athletes. So maybe I’ll pick it up again. My best was 3.21m off of seven strides, the others were doing double the amount of strides and jumping around 4m, which I don’t think is out of the realms of possibility for me at all.
I have to admit it was a bit gutting at times not competing, yet at the same time it has fuelled my hunger for success. I so desperately want to do what they were doing.
Channel 4 did a good job at hosting the games and I seriously hope that there will be coverage of the world champs next year, as well as extensive coverage of the next Paralympic Games in Rio 2016.
Sport doesn’t care who you are, anyone can take part!
Sunday, 19 August 2012
London 2012 Olympics
I have to admit building up to the Olympics, I was getting sick and tired of hearing about it, but as soon as it began I was hooked! I firmly feel that London did indeed deliver and Team GB did so too.
I found the opening ceremony a bit random in parts, I’m not sure I understood it entirely never mind the rest of the world. I do love the entrance of all of the participating countries and hearing about places you never knew existed. Since there was no athletics until the second week of the games, I found myself engrossed in the swimming, rowing and cycling, sports I never usually care for.
On Friday 3 August the athletics started and my family and I were lucky enough to have tickets for the morning action. We were completely the opposite side to the 100m straight, but placed quite nicely by the high jump and to the right of the 400m start/finish. We saw the likes of Jess ennis, Dai Green and Christine Ohuruogu who all received amazing receptions when introduced to the crowd. Some people may not find heats interesting to watch, but I think I could have lived there every single day, as the atmosphere and action was just epic.
Come the closing ceremony it was quite sad it all came to an end so fast, although the one off appearance by the Spice Girls was pretty special, a real hair brush moment!
65 medals for Team GB, third in the medal table, amazing! There were so many memorable moments, I would be here all day writing, so I won’t bother this time.
Run faster, jump higher, be stronger!
I found the opening ceremony a bit random in parts, I’m not sure I understood it entirely never mind the rest of the world. I do love the entrance of all of the participating countries and hearing about places you never knew existed. Since there was no athletics until the second week of the games, I found myself engrossed in the swimming, rowing and cycling, sports I never usually care for.
On Friday 3 August the athletics started and my family and I were lucky enough to have tickets for the morning action. We were completely the opposite side to the 100m straight, but placed quite nicely by the high jump and to the right of the 400m start/finish. We saw the likes of Jess ennis, Dai Green and Christine Ohuruogu who all received amazing receptions when introduced to the crowd. Some people may not find heats interesting to watch, but I think I could have lived there every single day, as the atmosphere and action was just epic.
Come the closing ceremony it was quite sad it all came to an end so fast, although the one off appearance by the Spice Girls was pretty special, a real hair brush moment!
65 medals for Team GB, third in the medal table, amazing! There were so many memorable moments, I would be here all day writing, so I won’t bother this time.
Run faster, jump higher, be stronger!
Wednesday, 15 August 2012
Harry Potter Studios
Like so many people in the world, I am a massive Harry Potter fan. I began reading the books in my early teens and made sure I mastered Braille in time for the release of the final book after my sight deteriorated for the worst. I remember it took me about three months to read that final book and avoiding spoilers was a tough task, but somehow I managed it. I have also seen all of the films, the first couple I had some vision to appreciate the special effects and picture for real my favourite books come to life. So, when I heard about Warner Bros offering fans an opportunity to visit the Harry Potter Studios in Watford, I made sure I booked my tickets the day they went on sale!
My family and I went to the studios on my 24th birthday (on 20th July, argh I’m getting old). As we went into the entrance, there were hand imprints from the three main stars, Daniele, Emma and Rupert. I pretty much have the exact same hand size as Emma. This tactile introduction seemed promising for the rest of the tour.
We were ushered into a holding room where there were lots of posters from the films around the world and a short video from the film makers. We were then moved into a cinema area to watch another short film about the studios. Finally, you then get to go into the Great Hall and to my disappointment, the props were behind barriers. This is where my stretch Armstrong skills began, as I reached to touch the goblets and seating area. I knew it was going to be a long day!
It is really quite astonishing how many props and sets there were under a single roof, I only wish I had the opportunity to check them all out for myself instead of hearing about what I knew already existed. I thought riding a broomstick would be a nice interactive challenge, but in fact a lot of acting is required to make the experience worth its while! Halfway around you get to go outside and I was eager to taste butter beer. It was nothing how I expected it to be, but I did quite enjoy the taste unlike most who seemed to have a sip and leave it! Outside was better for me in general, as I climbed upon Tom Riddles grave stone (I don’t think you’re supposed to health and safety and all that), sat in the Weasley’s car, touched the giant chess pieces, climbed aboard the Knight bus, sat on the Potter’s wall and Calvin had a busy on Privet Drive (we were only supposed to be taking a photo by the sign)!
Back indoors feeling a bit more cheery and stretching once more to feel the goblin masks, one of the staff members finally took pity and let me go beyond the barriers. So I had a better opportunity to feel the goblin masks, spent far too long examining Robert Patterson’s life cast (he has a very appealing face to the touch and I’m sure to the eye) and felt some of Griphook’s costume.
Next we walked up Diagon Alley; the cobbles reminded me of Coronation Street, not that I’ve walked up there! Finally you get to the shop and I spent ages feeling each characters’ wand, which you could buy and they had showcased behind a glass cabinet in the tour. I would have liked to buy a souvenir, most likely the elder wand, only the prices were beyond silly. Poor parents were telling their kids perhaps they would like a postcard!
I’m glad I visited the studios even though 80% of it is visual. I should have known better.
You fail to recognise that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be (Albus Dumbledore)
My family and I went to the studios on my 24th birthday (on 20th July, argh I’m getting old). As we went into the entrance, there were hand imprints from the three main stars, Daniele, Emma and Rupert. I pretty much have the exact same hand size as Emma. This tactile introduction seemed promising for the rest of the tour.
We were ushered into a holding room where there were lots of posters from the films around the world and a short video from the film makers. We were then moved into a cinema area to watch another short film about the studios. Finally, you then get to go into the Great Hall and to my disappointment, the props were behind barriers. This is where my stretch Armstrong skills began, as I reached to touch the goblets and seating area. I knew it was going to be a long day!
It is really quite astonishing how many props and sets there were under a single roof, I only wish I had the opportunity to check them all out for myself instead of hearing about what I knew already existed. I thought riding a broomstick would be a nice interactive challenge, but in fact a lot of acting is required to make the experience worth its while! Halfway around you get to go outside and I was eager to taste butter beer. It was nothing how I expected it to be, but I did quite enjoy the taste unlike most who seemed to have a sip and leave it! Outside was better for me in general, as I climbed upon Tom Riddles grave stone (I don’t think you’re supposed to health and safety and all that), sat in the Weasley’s car, touched the giant chess pieces, climbed aboard the Knight bus, sat on the Potter’s wall and Calvin had a busy on Privet Drive (we were only supposed to be taking a photo by the sign)!
Back indoors feeling a bit more cheery and stretching once more to feel the goblin masks, one of the staff members finally took pity and let me go beyond the barriers. So I had a better opportunity to feel the goblin masks, spent far too long examining Robert Patterson’s life cast (he has a very appealing face to the touch and I’m sure to the eye) and felt some of Griphook’s costume.
Next we walked up Diagon Alley; the cobbles reminded me of Coronation Street, not that I’ve walked up there! Finally you get to the shop and I spent ages feeling each characters’ wand, which you could buy and they had showcased behind a glass cabinet in the tour. I would have liked to buy a souvenir, most likely the elder wand, only the prices were beyond silly. Poor parents were telling their kids perhaps they would like a postcard!
I’m glad I visited the studios even though 80% of it is visual. I should have known better.
You fail to recognise that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be (Albus Dumbledore)
Tuesday, 14 August 2012
Centre Parks
It does seem like an age since I updated this blog and have a long list of things I want to post about. Truth be told I haven’t been on the computer much lately, not needing to be on it for my uni work and with the sun peeking its head out for a few days, oh and of course there was the Olympics, I’ve just not felt the need to be online.
Anyway, shortly after Team GB was selected for the Paralympics, I went to Centre Parks with some visually impaired friends. The perfect retreat to take my mind off of things and to take a break from training. However, I was a little apprehensive about going, as I had never been to Centre Parks before and was concerned that the staff wouldn’t be very helpful, as more often than not people freak out when they see you have a disability!
I was definitely pleasantly surprised. On the Friday we went swimming and bowling. Swimming is one of very few activities that is free at Centre Parks. They have a wave machine, lazy river, which I think is more like a crazy river, hot tub style pool and several slides. I dared to go down a couple of the kids slides, but that tends to be my limit, I always manage to near drown myself with these things for some reason.
Saturday morning was rock climbing, which I have done several times before and really enjoy, as it’s one of few activities that I am a natural talent at! If rock climbing was a Paralympic sport, I’m fairly sure I would be the champion. The outside wall was quite tricky, but I managed to get up it no less than five times and not to sound boastful or competitive because that’s totally not in my nature obviously, but none of my friends managed to get to the top! That afternoon I had a full body mud treatment, which was different, yet my skin felt great afterwards and that evening we stuffed our faces with Bella Italia.
On Sunday we began with the zip wire and there was something quite petrifying about being told, ok now jump! I bet everyone gets that flash of seeing themselves plummet to the floor. The staff were really good about explaining about, which rope to throw away, unclip etc. After the zip wire, two of us did abseiling, which I was completely pathetic at! I personally put it down to being left handed and the only way to control the rope which lowered you down was with your right hand that apparently doesn’t know how to grip, so I kept sliding really fast. Feeling absolutely exhausted by this point since it’s around a half hour walk to each activity that afternoon I did the gladiator challenge, which took the meaning of challenge to a whole new level! It was split into two sections. The first side I went up was a simple ladder, only it swung, so it felt like I was climbing up upside down. I thought I was strong, I definitely didn’t feel it! The other side also swung, but not as dramatically and was a combination of beams, tyres, cargo nets and polls. The instructor was really good regarding explaining what was above me each time and eventually I got to the top and stood on the beam, I think it was a blessing that I couldn’t see how high up I was, as it felt pretty damn high!
Sunday evening was spent relaxing in the spa, which was a combination of aroma steam rooms, foot spas, hydrotherapy pool with sprays and sun loungers. Whilst there we got a free facial and did an Italian ritual, which resulted in covering yourself with ice, warming yourself back up in the sorna, more ice including a bucket being poured down my back, more heat, plunge pool where the instructor kindly pulled the rope to release the freezing cold water and then we finished with more heat. I can’t remember what it was supposed to be good for!
All in all it was a good trip, but unless I win the lottery won’t be rushing back anytime soon. The activities are quite expensive; I could have had a week abroad all inclusive for the same price! The staff are welcoming to disabled guests though and have an access bus to help get around the place if needed.
What you can’t see, can’t hurt you!
Anyway, shortly after Team GB was selected for the Paralympics, I went to Centre Parks with some visually impaired friends. The perfect retreat to take my mind off of things and to take a break from training. However, I was a little apprehensive about going, as I had never been to Centre Parks before and was concerned that the staff wouldn’t be very helpful, as more often than not people freak out when they see you have a disability!
I was definitely pleasantly surprised. On the Friday we went swimming and bowling. Swimming is one of very few activities that is free at Centre Parks. They have a wave machine, lazy river, which I think is more like a crazy river, hot tub style pool and several slides. I dared to go down a couple of the kids slides, but that tends to be my limit, I always manage to near drown myself with these things for some reason.
Saturday morning was rock climbing, which I have done several times before and really enjoy, as it’s one of few activities that I am a natural talent at! If rock climbing was a Paralympic sport, I’m fairly sure I would be the champion. The outside wall was quite tricky, but I managed to get up it no less than five times and not to sound boastful or competitive because that’s totally not in my nature obviously, but none of my friends managed to get to the top! That afternoon I had a full body mud treatment, which was different, yet my skin felt great afterwards and that evening we stuffed our faces with Bella Italia.
On Sunday we began with the zip wire and there was something quite petrifying about being told, ok now jump! I bet everyone gets that flash of seeing themselves plummet to the floor. The staff were really good about explaining about, which rope to throw away, unclip etc. After the zip wire, two of us did abseiling, which I was completely pathetic at! I personally put it down to being left handed and the only way to control the rope which lowered you down was with your right hand that apparently doesn’t know how to grip, so I kept sliding really fast. Feeling absolutely exhausted by this point since it’s around a half hour walk to each activity that afternoon I did the gladiator challenge, which took the meaning of challenge to a whole new level! It was split into two sections. The first side I went up was a simple ladder, only it swung, so it felt like I was climbing up upside down. I thought I was strong, I definitely didn’t feel it! The other side also swung, but not as dramatically and was a combination of beams, tyres, cargo nets and polls. The instructor was really good regarding explaining what was above me each time and eventually I got to the top and stood on the beam, I think it was a blessing that I couldn’t see how high up I was, as it felt pretty damn high!
Sunday evening was spent relaxing in the spa, which was a combination of aroma steam rooms, foot spas, hydrotherapy pool with sprays and sun loungers. Whilst there we got a free facial and did an Italian ritual, which resulted in covering yourself with ice, warming yourself back up in the sorna, more ice including a bucket being poured down my back, more heat, plunge pool where the instructor kindly pulled the rope to release the freezing cold water and then we finished with more heat. I can’t remember what it was supposed to be good for!
All in all it was a good trip, but unless I win the lottery won’t be rushing back anytime soon. The activities are quite expensive; I could have had a week abroad all inclusive for the same price! The staff are welcoming to disabled guests though and have an access bus to help get around the place if needed.
What you can’t see, can’t hurt you!
Tuesday, 10 July 2012
50 Days To Go
Yesterday UK Athletics met to select the team for the London 2012 Paralympics and it wasn’t a surprise that my name didn’t make the list. My final two competitions were nothing less than a disaster, as on Wednesday my guide runner got stuck in traffic and arrived just five minutes before my race, which was extremely stressful and meant I couldn’t warm-up fully and then on Sunday the guide rope snapped halfway down the track. I clocked a disappointing 14.96secs on Wednesday and whilst I attempted to carry on running after the shock of the guide rope breaking on Sunday, I stopped before the finish, as I literally crumbled inside.
Whilst on Sunday I was fully aware that it was unlikely I was going to make the team, I was so determined to prove to myself and everybody else that I was capable of running fast. When the guide rope snapped, so did something inside of me, most likely the reality of the last four years of hard work coming to a bitter end. My eyes just started burning and the tears pouring, I wanted to keep my blind fold on so nobody saw, but took it off to shake the other athletes hands at the end who were probably all confused to what I was crying about. I really shouldn’t have shown my weakness in front of everybody including UK Athletics who I heard were pointing at me, I dread to think what they were saying. I just felt completely sorry for myself and unlucky yet again, which goes against everything I believe in. I was a total emotional wreck!
I’m totally over myself now though and focused on running sub fourteen seconds next year. There is a World Championships next year in France, but that’s not my main priority. I believe 2014 is the ultimate aim with the European Championships and Common Wealth Games where I firmly feel I can not only gain my first GB and England vests, but snatch a couple of medals too.
I’m sure there are people who think I’m setting myself up to fail yet again, but I know with the right team behind me I can reach my full potential. I have had eight guide runners in four years, but I am confident that my current one is in it for the long-term.
I’m still looking forward to watching the Paralympic Games and I hope everyone else will be getting behind our athletes too.
My new bio on my Face Book reads:
I can be found wishing upon stars, chasing rainbows and jumping over hurdles, determined to fulfil my dreams...
Whilst on Sunday I was fully aware that it was unlikely I was going to make the team, I was so determined to prove to myself and everybody else that I was capable of running fast. When the guide rope snapped, so did something inside of me, most likely the reality of the last four years of hard work coming to a bitter end. My eyes just started burning and the tears pouring, I wanted to keep my blind fold on so nobody saw, but took it off to shake the other athletes hands at the end who were probably all confused to what I was crying about. I really shouldn’t have shown my weakness in front of everybody including UK Athletics who I heard were pointing at me, I dread to think what they were saying. I just felt completely sorry for myself and unlucky yet again, which goes against everything I believe in. I was a total emotional wreck!
I’m totally over myself now though and focused on running sub fourteen seconds next year. There is a World Championships next year in France, but that’s not my main priority. I believe 2014 is the ultimate aim with the European Championships and Common Wealth Games where I firmly feel I can not only gain my first GB and England vests, but snatch a couple of medals too.
I’m sure there are people who think I’m setting myself up to fail yet again, but I know with the right team behind me I can reach my full potential. I have had eight guide runners in four years, but I am confident that my current one is in it for the long-term.
I’m still looking forward to watching the Paralympic Games and I hope everyone else will be getting behind our athletes too.
My new bio on my Face Book reads:
I can be found wishing upon stars, chasing rainbows and jumping over hurdles, determined to fulfil my dreams...
Wednesday, 27 June 2012
Who Spiked My Luck?!
On Monday 18 June, I was having a great training session working on technician and execution. Towards the end of my session, the focus was on aggression, as I often rely on my guide runner to pick up the pace. So, it was important for me to do some runs on my own and inject some speed myself. However, on the first run when I injected the speed, I veered off to the left. I was instructed to go right, but perhaps reacted too slowly and clipped a cone. I elegantly flew through the air in a superman pose, spiked myself and badly twisted my ankle. The physio classified it as a grade 2 sprain, where grade 1 is the least damage you can do.
Despite my injury, I was determined to race in Wigan on Saturday 23 June. However, thanks to our Great British weather, the competition got cancelled the day before due to flooding. I was gutted not getting the chance to run, but then again it probably was a blessing in disguise, as my ankle still had some swelling and when I tested it out on the Thursday before was quite painful coming out of blocks.
It’s been 2 and a half weeks since I sprained it and it’s frustrating that I still don’t have full movement in it without it hurting. For example, it hurts to twist my foot inwards, I can’t cross my legs and I can’t kneel. Yet I’ve followed all of the physio’s advice, rest, ice, compression, thera band exercises, had some strapping, some ultra sound treatment, dosed up on anti-inflammatory tablets and even regularly put on anti-inflammatory cream for good measure. But it seems I have managed to sprain it good and proper.
Since Wigan was cancelled, this just leaves 1 qualifying race before Paralympic selection on 9 July. To make up for missing a race, I’m going to do the Charnwood Open on Wednesday to see where I am at. I think I’m just going to have to accept whatever times I run in the next 2 races, as my ankle is not fully recovered. Of course I’m going to try my best to hit that A Standard of 14.25 though.
I saw the quote for this blog post on my Twitter feed yesterday and it’s exactly how I feel –
Doing sports gives me a feeling of overcoming barriers, escaping difficulties and breaking through the darkness (Duan Li)
Despite my injury, I was determined to race in Wigan on Saturday 23 June. However, thanks to our Great British weather, the competition got cancelled the day before due to flooding. I was gutted not getting the chance to run, but then again it probably was a blessing in disguise, as my ankle still had some swelling and when I tested it out on the Thursday before was quite painful coming out of blocks.
It’s been 2 and a half weeks since I sprained it and it’s frustrating that I still don’t have full movement in it without it hurting. For example, it hurts to twist my foot inwards, I can’t cross my legs and I can’t kneel. Yet I’ve followed all of the physio’s advice, rest, ice, compression, thera band exercises, had some strapping, some ultra sound treatment, dosed up on anti-inflammatory tablets and even regularly put on anti-inflammatory cream for good measure. But it seems I have managed to sprain it good and proper.
Since Wigan was cancelled, this just leaves 1 qualifying race before Paralympic selection on 9 July. To make up for missing a race, I’m going to do the Charnwood Open on Wednesday to see where I am at. I think I’m just going to have to accept whatever times I run in the next 2 races, as my ankle is not fully recovered. Of course I’m going to try my best to hit that A Standard of 14.25 though.
I saw the quote for this blog post on my Twitter feed yesterday and it’s exactly how I feel –
Doing sports gives me a feeling of overcoming barriers, escaping difficulties and breaking through the darkness (Duan Li)
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